Hello Alice, how do you feel about being named the coolest person on planet Earth in 2008? "I’m flattered, but back in school the people who held themselves in the same regard were the biggest waste of skin I’ve ever met".
Why do you think you got so many votes? "My pact with Satan hasn’t expired yet."
What’s the coolest thing you own? "Slaves."
Who is your cool icon? "We need new idioms, we need to stop talking like beatniks."
Does cool even matter? "Nothing matters. We’re all dust."